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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

the past few days weeks MONTH has been quite terrible and unbearable.. almost every day i experience a panic attack for the things still undone!!

I AM SO FREAKING SCARED COS ALEVELS IS LIKE THE DAY AFTER TMR!

GP feels... i dunno. like i dunno what to expect? everything is dependent on the questions that i see on the paper on the actual day! and reading up for gp is HELL tiring and wordy and timeconsuming and half my brain is quite put off cos i might not even be able to use it for my essay in the end anw!

and studying just makes me feel... lonely? haha in a way... even though during the day i'll receive msgs from esp mich "updating" me abt her mugging life hehe BUT STILL? i think im in desperate need of someone to talk to who can calm my nerves (though i doubt i'll trust that person haha) yet he/she is not panicking over exams!!

AND I DONT THINK I CAN FINISH MUGGING IN TIME AND I STILL CANT DO SOME ALEVEL QUESTIONS NOT COUNTING CARELESS MISTAKES AND I DONT THINK ALEVEL PAPERS ARE AS EASY AS EVERYONE THINKS AND IM NOT SURE IF THERE'S STUFF IN MY BRAIN AFTER PRACTISING AND IM SCARED THAT I CANT SLEEP THE DAY BEFORE THE PAPERS AND I DONT THINK IVE MUGGED SUFFICIENTLY ENOUGH BUT I ALWAYS GET DISTRACTED ESPECIALLY BY THE TV EVERY NIGHT AND COMPARED TO OTHER PPLE I THINK IVE DONE CRAP LITTLE STUFF AT THE END OF THE DAY I ALWAYS FEEL SO SCARED AND JITTERY AND THIS LIST GOES ON....

yup.. and so today during mass i suddenly felt like crying during almost every hymn sung i dunno why... i guess i feel bad for "neglecting" God half the time and during times like this i SUDDENLY get the energy to finish my night prayer b4 K.O.-ing in bed =X..

ahhh IN CONCLUSION i am just VERY scared!! a part of me just wishes that i could be granted more time to make myself more prepared (though im not sure if i'll be able to make efficient use of that time)..

u know every time i switch on the tv and look at the PSI reading a small part of me still wishes that it hits 400? though now it's normally missing one ZERO at the back haha.. then at least alevels would be postponed due to the very terrible weather conditions! but that's just another of my daydreams =X...

AT THE SAME TIME i cant wait for alevels to be over (but feeling good about it in the end of course)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! vivocity here i come! step up here i come! MANY OTHER THINGS symbolising freedom HERE I COME! :)

but for now, back to feeling scared =X. good night everyone it's late i must prepare myself for bed haha..

meli blabbered at 11:54 PM


Sunday, October 15, 2006

sighhhhhhh.

haha RANDOM:

"sigh meli let's not get married and stay together in a house until we are 80. 3 spinsters."
-DATE: 28072006 23:47:33

IT'S A DEAL AND I WONT FORGET THAT! yayyyy =D i wont be all alone and abandoned during old age!!


i LOVE them so so much!! and pheeyuweet they are soooo HOT:)!!


meli blabbered at 11:45 PM


Friday, October 13, 2006

this is how unglam jumping photos can get (and tiring too) :


but when u finally succeed u get a sense of achievement :)!!


that was the last jumping pic we took... AND I FEEL DAMN CHEATED cos we only needed to jump once -_-... the camera had the function to take multiple shots la... then u can just choose the correct one! to think before that we tried to jump 10 million times to accomodate the camera + photographer when it shld be the other way round right!

okay i suddenly feel an overdose of green and white hahaha but i cant help it last-day-of-sch pics all like that! haha..

i did 170 econs mcqs today and i feel quite proud of myself haha... so i came online and the rest of my night flew away haha :)...

THREE MORE WEEKS!

haha u know yest night i was talking to fellow spinster foreverly michie and we got to know each other better! HAHA we know each other's fav food now... quite weird that we nv talked abt that during our 4+ yr friendship hahaha :)...

haha suddenly i got no more mood to blog so bye!!


meli blabbered at 12:24 AM


Monday, October 09, 2006

some last-day-of-sch photos that jel just sent me cos my comp is ON A HIGH! sending speed was omg-ly fast i tell you so cool!! too bad huishen and huiling cant send their photos today =(.. (i WILL blog seriously abt 6j one day I PROMISE..)

2S06J!!
(yes YAWNS what's new IM always the one doing the unglam-est pose -_-)


zhu, jac, jel, shen, me, huiling!

some of the class girls :)

TOILET!

LT1!

AHH i nv take picture with mr lee =(...
hmm and I INNOCENTLY WONDER why is qianyun giving that expression HAHA!!

thanks jel for the pics!!
AND IM REALLY GG TO MISS SMACKING YOU =(!

***

guess what in the end i went out both yest and today -_-... so much for contemplating for so long which one shld i go for haha! but i TOTALLY dont regret gg to art's house today!! haha i was laughing so hard at almost everything and having so much fun!!


JENGA truth or dare!
despite the shrieks and tremendous concentration i must admit that im a PRO la hahaha!!

***

i wish it didnt happen. now im gg into hiding. im SOO glad that krystle was with me today and i had a reason for running away!! AHH im just confused and i dunno what i shld do! it's a clash of self-interests and for the good of everyone? whateverly la if you wanna know then go ask krystle haha i told her everything today :)... blogs are scary cos it's too public tsktsk and blogspot doesnt have the entry locking function!

maybe i shld just pray very very very very very very hard. I DUNNO WHAT TO DO HOW HOW HOW?

meli is just a meano. meano meano meano. FULLSTOP.

***

YES. so moving on with life... tmr is the official start of mugging break and please kill me if i still happily come on msn every nite and slack my life away BAHH!


meli blabbered at 1:37 AM


Sunday, October 08, 2006

i feel a sudden nostalgia towards 2S06J aft reading jel's and huishen's blog... you can click their links to view the 1489637867393 photos we took on fri.. in class, in the toilet, in the LT and outside crystal jade (which was our most successful class lunch ever 23 out of 27 pple!!!)..

i'll really miss this dysfunctional (HAHA no offence) class of mine! i'll promise to elaborate soon when im more free cos im supposed to get ready to attend mass now!

I LOVE EVERYONE IN 2S06J!!!! NEVER FORGET ME OKAYS! haha :)

u know what was the retarded thing? when i woke up on sat i had a slight aching on my thighs la OMG -_-... that was how strenous all the jumping pics were... sia la i dunno why we cldnt take much successful shots this time round! haha only me and zhu could jump togetherly beautifully hehe!!

and now the aching is WORSE aft ballet on sat! she wanted to murder us i tell you! even though it wasnt those kind of panting breathlessly tired lessons, but she made us do all the thighs-get-biggerish exercises ahhhh! (but it does feel good to have such aches cos u know youre fit HAHA u know u know?)

p/s: I WANT THE PICS FROM FRI PLSPLSPLS JEL, SHEN, ZHU AND HUILING! the next time i see yall online, cld yall send me the very very nice photos first? i'll get the rest i borrow the cd that huiling passed to yall thank you very much love yall lots and lots!

meli blabbered at 10:22 AM


Wednesday, October 04, 2006

hello im supposed to be reading physics notes but nvm haha :)...

looking at all the pple applying overseas and having sucha difficult time completing the numerous essays + personal statement + everything else required in the portfolio, my heart really goes out to them... cos at the same time it's coupled with the fear of not being accepted to any of the unis and having to cope with some teachers' expressing their lack of confidence of writing a good recommendation for you which will make you start to regret how you chose to lead life in jc these past two years =X...

im really glad that my parents dont demand that i apply to overseas cos i know im incapable of going through all those stuff by myself writing all those crap esp when at the back of your head you feel that the time could actually be better spent mugging for alevels/SATs? haha though i know that overseas uni application is more of a personal decision but being aspiration-less me, i still need pple to help make decisions for me :)..

also, looking past all the tedious application stuff, i will NEVER survive alone in a stranger country esp when pple will not understand my eloquent singlish HAHA! even though everyone in singapore might just be a phone call away, it's just... different! my greatest fear of not being able to maintain the close level of friendships with my fav friends is also a huge obstacle...

of course, that is based on the assumption that the bulk of my friends are STILL in singapore HAH!

yep!! act i dunno why im writing this when my main concern is getting into the local uni that i want with the course that i want (though i havent decided what yet haha)... it's just a sudden outburst that i had to let out haha..

to everyone applying overseas: dont be disheartened alright!! prelim results are not everything la just submit all that youve written and if it's meant to be, God will do the rest :)!

***

i think im getting sick.. my stomach has been feeling weird ALL day and once in a while for abt 8 secs my whole stomach will feel as if someone is trying to wrench it dry and it'll feel as if it's squashed up ahhh damn pain!! (it's not cramps btw)... plus this is not the first time it's happening! i think this is the third day ive experienced this within a span of.. two weeks?

and ive been having an overdose of slp!! VERY VERY BAD! i can nap the entire aftnn away and still be able to feel slpy enough to go to bed at 11+pm OMG!!!!

WHAT IF IM DYING HOW???

and during times like these it's a good idea NOT to get on my nerves cos what you're doing now is just gg to make me detest you further pfft. IRRITANT i tell you.

ANW cos of my weird stomach i decided not to go and stuff myself at the sakae buffet with zhi and the rest today =(... cos bo hua la if im only going to eat a little bit HAII so sad and wasted!!

***

i FINALLY got Back the last of my eCons paper today so that mEans i received all my prElim results alr :)..

and for the first time in my entire jc career i passed all subjects!! though it's still quite horrendous but i feel a small sense of achievement haha..

but what my dad said today was sucha slap in the face pfft! u must understand that he's nv said much about my results etcetc... and then today he drop bomb and said that my results are like crap cos noone will be looking at the no of passes but the no of As... and with such bad results im still not getting down to studying, still go playplayplay and go out so much -_-...

qi si ren le! i know what he said makes sense la but HELLO dont just suddenly drop bomb on me like that right? he could have at least TOLD me from the beginning what he expected of me or sth and not suddenly expect me to BE what he had hoped of me like wth..

***

i really wonder why i dont have a GREAT inner desire to achieve good results.. i dont think it's cos im too complacent (cos im not) or ive given up.. it's just me. easygoing me. haha...

me: "ohno what if i do badly for everything and then i break down and cry SO MALU la!"
everyone i told: "you will cry over results one meh?"

haha the answer is no.. not that it's a bad thing but I DUNNO WHY... it could be due to this lack of desire that's why i spend 93% of my waking life slacking away =X..

and when i DO get bad results i dont even bother FIGHTING for a mere few marks... i just laugh at myself and then tell everyone how silly i was HAHA crap that is so unlike a typical rj student omg! just like when i was awarded only ONE pathetic sympathy mark for part (a) for one econs essay question upon.. 10? HAHA! and u know what the marker's comment was? "pretty disastrous"

HAHAHAHA omg la so unfeeling and blunt hmphh! but it was my fault la i didnt read the taxes notes thoroughly enough and mixed up all the DEFINITIONS haha ohwells at least i still passed econs overall so whatever..

do u think im abnormal? haha at least everyone can be reassured that a person like me wont have much tendency to commit suicide! im too much of an escapist and joker to do that haha..

***

ahhhh! my stomach still feels VERY weird and i dont wanna go to sch tmr! we end at four la wah lao eh and i have econs tuition at 530pm! I NEED A BREAK PLS!

meli blabbered at 10:41 PM


one happy incident and one VERY horrifying incident happened on mon evening almost around the same time period.

FREAK! luckily there was happy incident if not ah................................

okay i promise to blog more coherently tmr after i get back my case study which is the last paper which i havent gotten back... then i'll tell you how FABULOUS my class is =D (with the exception of me muahaha)

my computer is fixed! apparently the wire was plugged into the wrong hole which is so weird cos how cld it have been working before that then? but ohwells what matters is that itz perfectly fine now :)

i think the class guys are abit mad... ever since school opened theyve been spending every possible break and aft sch time PLAYING RISK or bingo (which i happily joined in today and despite the late entry into the game i STILL trashed zhouxiang wheee IM GOOD he's LOUSY)!! WHAT THEY TRYING TO PROVE HUH HUH HUH? that they no need to study for alevels isit?? TOO SMART ALR ISIT???

haha kidding la. but even if it was true i think they deserve it anw.. pple like jon have been mugging consistently for the past 1.75 years... now is the time for pple like ME to cram all the 1.75 years' work into my head AHHHH..

I FINALLY COMPLETED my very beautiful study timetable today :)!! it is very nice and neat i tell you AND IM VERY PROUD OF IT! i used the ruler to measure out the boxes to the nearest 0.1 cm HAHA and huiling, zhu and jel can vouch for me :)

okay im very tired my brain feels saturated though i only did 3/4 of the acjc 06 prelim maths paper and completed my study timetable -_-... good night!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUANTING!!! love you lots and lots :)

meli blabbered at 12:19 AM


Sunday, October 01, 2006

HEHE! i said my comp was spoilt but i forgot to mention that i have one other computer and laptop at home HAHA!

but then again the laptop outside IS DAMN LAG hotmail can take 10 years to load and this computer im using now is my sis.. and im risking my life blogging here as she might SUDDENLY appear at her door and get pissed at me cos im using her comp =X..

anw her comp is lousy cos it's slower than my comp and her mouse is screwed... so not worth losing my life over her lousy comp hmph!

yupyup!! so forgive me if i dont blog on the rciy blog cos i dont have photos anw!! but i had a great time spending the whole day with rciy pple today from 9am to 1030pm :)!!

I FINALLY REALISED the method of getting pple to stop talking abt rj in front of me HEHE! CRACK A LAME JOKE =D... sia la i tell you it's quite funny! shaun was saying sth like "cant u see the glow from that direction (pointing at me) cos of the smart brains" and then i said "ya i glow cos i dont have a suntan and im white"

HAHA very -_- i know and suddenly there was silence at the table WAHAHA.. even ignatius who was kiaping noodles into his mouth stopped halfway cos the joke was too cold... and after that when they all recovered there was no more joke abt rjc YEAH BAEBEH!

ohmans so retarded -_-.

and guess what! i didnt get to play sparklers in the end =(.. but i hope nx wk we will play at art's house =D!!

it was really fun and a totally new experience praying the rosary in chinese though! haha luckily they gave out the chinese translation with hanyu pinyin so i wasnt THAT lost... and i got sabo-ed to read the 2nd mystery in chinese OHMYMAMA but with jeri's help beforehand i SURVIVED :)!!

thanks everyone who was there for being there cos i really enjoyed myself eating and playing the unconventional board games aft the prayer.. even to those pple (like freddie and philip -_-) who kept suanning me NONSTOP!!

alrights counting from tmr there's exactly one month to the start of alevels... im going to start mugging!! my prelim results were like CRAP! i tell you it sucks to be in a class which is always topping all the s06 classes -_-.. in times like these i TOTALLY wish that i didnt come into rj cos everyone's FLYING and im stuck in the dumps haha...

okay im off now.. my heart skips a beat whenever someone opens my sister's room door HAHA... tsktsk im feeling guiltyyy =X.. anw i shall be on hiatus till my mum manages to find the receipt of my computer or decides to part with her money and call a technician :)

SO LONG, FAREWELL IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE! GOODBYEEEEEEE, GOOOOODBYEEEEE!!

astalavista baebeh!

meli blabbered at 11:48 PM