i specially posted this pic to showcase the pair of gentleman-ly gay lovers HEHE =D

(haha if daryl reads this, he's gonna scold me for using his pictures and blogging in the "wrong" blog hehe!)

***CAUTION! the following entry is FULL OF WORDS and NO PHOTOS.. the paragraphs are long on purpose to put you off and youre HIGHLY ENCOURAGED NOT TO READ :)! it's enough to scroll down and read my CONCLUSION hehe!!

it's been a LONGGG time since i had an overdose of hugs and it feeeels good :)!! the long-lost feeling of community and bonding is back YAPHOOO =D!

haha i reached ctk at 3+pm to help carry all the logistics stuff to st teresa's and i got scolded (and constantly reminded) for not bringing my bible and rosary =X haha oops.. i dont think i have ever brought it to a church camp before so i forgot SORRY :)

anw there wasnt much to do except IN THE END THEY REALLY MADE ME MOP THE FLOOR hmphh!!! we finished cleaning and setting up really quickly so kenny taught me how to play the starting guitar chords of "i believe" (but sad to say i think i forgot how to play alr =X) hehe! and then aft dinner we started getting QUITE childish and played games like connect four, DOTS (which is a damn silly game cos i kept losing-_-), and word games while waiting for the neophytes and other sponsors to arrive..

and when they arrived, the camp started :)... haha! IM VERY LAZY TO DESCRIBE ALL THE SESSIONS AND FOOD MAKING ETC IN DETAIL LA...

ooooh but i enjoyed myself just sitting there being a guardian angel while kenny HAD TO RE-SWEEP THE FLOOR more than 10 times HEHE! shiok man! the neophytes were supposed to offer help without being told cos they were having a journey to God haha... the walk was a one-by-one thing so can u imagine how many times kenny had to sweep and then scatter the litter all around again HAHA!

all in all, itz a different experience now attending the camp as a sponsor-in-training as compared to last time.. you have to wake up earlier to prepare breakfast and milo, slp later cos of sponsors' debrief and think of the neophytes' welfare almost all the time! (and also i got to slack off for a while aft mass to walk arnd the funfair with cat!! and i got to kope ben's tickets HEHE to buy food for myself :) i hope cat doesnt pay him back on my behalf haha =P)

but in many many other ways, i still felt like a neophyte... maybe cos im the youngest sponsor and one of the newest? and there are other neophytes who are older than me! and could be MUCH BETTER at facil-ing if they were in my shoes =X... somehow my sharings still felt/sounded as if i was still a neophyte.. i cldnt ask questions to get them to share more, and yet i was the one being questioned =X..

i guess i still have PLENTY more to learn before i become as experienced as.... arthur? WHOAHH he could play God hehe :).. i really hope that it's not cos im not capable enough to lead but it's more of cos i havent attended the relevant trainings yet? cos if given a choice i def wldnt wanna leave rciy... other than having the wei da goal of changing pple's lives, for selfish reasons i also wldnt wanna leave my church community! i want pple to be there for me, to assure me that God is always present etc... but if i really cmi then i'll have to seriously reconsider my decision rather than shortchanging any inquirer right? ohwelllls...

and it feels MUCH better when i dont close myself up and talk very little :)... i guess it's either cos i no longer feel ANY awkwardness whenever around the sponsors or sub-consciously i have changed cos lately ive been very affected by pple having different personalities when with different pple... at least (HOPEFULLY) everyone thinks that itz a good change and noone thinks that im fake or sth =X...

i think what's touched me the most were the testimonies made by the sponsors... it just went right to my heart and they were all very moving and touching... i wonder when i'll ever be able to make such deep sharings to the whole wide world! and i really wanna reassure ber that everything will be fine but i guess im not ready to share and say that yet..

i could really relate to jeri's sharing... sia la it's the exact same feeling ive been feeling for the whole of this year! actually before that during aaron's session i reflected and realised that 2006 has been a VERY monotonous period.. i couldnt rem any depressing or super high events at all! so i cldnt plot the graph properly (i only drew one straight line=X)... life almost went back to the secular lifestyle that i led before i joined rciy except for attending mass every sun..

even when i pray at night i fall aslp halfway... and truthfully i rarely (or almost nv) read my bible.. even when my parents and bro went for novena i always thought of ways to squirm out of it I DUNNO WHY! for some reason i just didnt wanna participate anything extra other than mass =S.. and the best part is i dunno if this camp is gonna change my 'prayer life'..

i bet 90% of the neophytes have a deeper faith than me... cos other than that i acknowledge the presence of God everywhere and anywhere, and pray veryvery hard when im faced with a prob (even when my prayers are not answered i'll also think itz my fault and not His), i think im almost like a free thinker =X...

haha i dunno why im just rattling and blabbering on and what im trying to achieve at the end of the entry but yeahh..

u know i almost cried while reading all the warm fuzzies!! thanks to everyone who wrote to me:)..

i nv knew that just offering a little help here and there could be appreciated by so many pple haha... but i did all the small helping out AND I DIDNT HELP in what i was allocated to do in the first place! i was supposed to help aaron to plan session BUT I DIDNT! even on the actual day when he was chionging so hard on it, i cldnt help at all!! so maybe u know subconsciously i was helping out everywhere else to ease my guilt? haha i dunno also la..

ohya.. and i also didnt dare to pray for a neophyte alone! so in the end i paired up with elaine to pray for leonard.. and i felt so damn unfeeling when BOTH of them suddenly started crying cos they reallyy missed our baptism batch etc.. i guess i wasnt as attached to our group as they were? but at that time i was AT A LOSS MAN! a reallly scary experience =X..

okay. time to STOP. haha it feels GREAT to just let out everything that im feeling... actually the 5-linked msg that i sent summarised my experience as a sponsor haha... reading this whole long entry of words is quite time consuming and redundant? haha..

CONCLUSION: i really enjoyed the camp :)...

***

CONGRATS HADY!! i think he really deserved to be the singer to sing the new single cos I WAS REALLY TOUCHED AND INSPIRED when he sang it!!

if anyone was wondering, i didnt vote haha... i had the urge to vote for hady but then somehow there was this obligation to vote for jonathan too so the "votes" for each of them cancelled out HEHE!

AND DAMMIT i dunno how true is this but my bro said the 1130mass altar servers said JOAKIM was in ctk attending mass! LIKE OMG WHY WASNT I THERE! =( i really just wanna take a photo with him hehe MY EYECANDYYYYY ~wheee.. i hope he attends this coming sunday :)..

HAII there were 9000 seats at the indoor stadium but i cldnt get tickets DAMN SAD..